Setbacks with sugar

DID I manage a sugar free Saturday? Not really. Skipped breakfast before work, worked till 12 midday. Popped out fir lunch with Neil (Coronation Chicken Sandwich with salad and some crisps along with a large skinny latte.)
Hmmmm not too bad. 2 Fab lolly ices today. Tea was cottage pie, homemade with 2 small slices Rye bread and butter. And 1 lemon mousse, diet.
Could have been worse.

Hoping to at least do a short walk tomorrow. Shame really that Neil can barely walk anywhere (severe pain in his legs, knees and back). He is very much aware that he needs to lose weight, this is not however the sole cause of his pains for which he takes a lot of medications for. Not being able to move a lot does hinder weight loss. I know how much pain he is in and he rarely goes on about it, I see the pain in his face every day.

Eating wrong things

Yes, am eating crap, tasty crap but fattening. It’s like I just can’t be bothered at the moment. But I desperately want to lose weight and feel better. I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up going to Slimming World though it has crossed my mind because I feel a failure cos my weight loss to date is only 8 lbs having gained 4 lbs last week. I’ll keep going, I’ll make a better effort to change my eating habits, I have to.

Feeling very blah at the moment. What’s new.
Have been thinking I really want an insulin pump so much but my local hospital don’t fund for them. I could get my care transferred to Liverpool and I might have a better chance there plus their diabetes care is better.

Slimming World

Bit of a odd day. Didn’t get up till 11:40 am. Then I had to shower and get ready quickly to be in work for 12:45 pm. Finished work about 4:30pm. Got home. Tired. Next thing you know it’s time to go get weighed at Slimming World.
Whoo hoo I lost 2 lbs this week. Am really pleased. Feel very.motivated after class, such nice people that go there, very supportive.

12 lbs lost so far.

Did a healthy shop after class. Made a sweet corn, chicken and spring onion soup with stock cube, pepper and a large pinch of Chinese 5Spice powder. Also made a chicken and grape salad ready for lunch tomorrow.
Bought a packet of sugar free herbal Ricola sweets. Thought they’d be syn free (with being sugar free), but no. They’re 5.5 syns per box. Ok I guess if the box lasts me all week.
Am back to my normal job tomorrow. Feeling very anxious about it. Silly I know. I could not stand more stress.
So many things make me angsty, stressed and anxious and on edge. I need a chill pill/s.

Long time

Lots been going on including some weight.
10 lbs loss so far.
Had a ‘binge’ few days, using the excuse of stress, anxiety. Must stop doing this. Hubby (Neil) was in terrible pain the night before last, extreme pain in the solar plexus area, couldn’t’t sleep, his liquid morphine did not touch the pain. In the morning it was still the same. He was downstairs, all cold and clammy in pain. I rang 999 and an ambulance came quite quickly, plus paramedics car, so 3 ambulance persons. The took him to local hospital. J (son 23) and I took R (daughter 16) to her granddad. Then we went to hospital. Neil had lots of bloods taken, ECG. J and I went home while they carried on tests, he was admitted to cardio ward.
He came home today. They suspect gastric problem, so he’s now waiting for appointment for a  gastroscooy, to check for stomach ulcer or oesophagal problem. Am very relieved it’s not his heart (as he has angina).
Very difficult to stay calm, anxiety/stress free. I so want stuff to change in our lives, to get better. More money would help, a change of job, a new house, weight loss, you know, that sort of stuff. Feels like we’re in a grey pit. I know, I know some people are worse off, sicker, have less etc, but I’m sick of trying to hold it altogether, trying to make things better going from one crisis to another. Sick sick sick of it.
Moan over.
J and I are booked into a hotel nr Menai on Monday night. Can’t bloody afford it really. Would love to go with Neil but is not fair for j to look after r for too long, too angsty for him. Can’t afford for us all to go away plus is v difficult to get R out of the house.
R has started counselling which is good, going to be a long long road. I am waiting for my first CBT appointment, J is waiting for his therapy appointment and Neil sees our GP for counselling every other week. Honestly, what are we like.
Lucky to have all this help, but sad that we need it.

Losing it Mon 14 July 14

Whoooooo hooooooooo, I lost 2 lbs this week, so chuffed. Went to Slimming World class, not many of us there tonight, but it is holidays time. Glad I went, really enjoyed it, it’s great for support and motivation.
Bit colder out today. In the afternoon we went to Heswall, R wanted to draw some £ out, she also wanted to go to the ice cream parlour again. I had one scoop of strawberry ice cream. Ohhhhh Neil had 2 scoops of Jaffa Cake ice cream, I had a taste, wow it was gorgeous.
Neil saw our GP earlier and has been put on a weight loss pill, Zenical I think, not sure since he can’t remember and we haven’t got it yet. So Dr L said Neil may be considered for bariatric surgery.
I have had awful pain in my right shoulder and arm. Horrid. Hope this isn’t leading to frozen shoulder again not so soon after the MUA op. It is possible unfortunately but am hoping not. Can’t stand the awful pain I keep getting.
Made a chickpea Dahl loaf for tomorrow. R and J are going to watch their usual RAW tonight.
Well, 12 lbs lost so far, aiming for another 3 lbs or more off by next week. I can do it.

Another loss

Went to physio at 8am this morning. Went ok. The therapist is pressing my back in different places, quite firmly to help loosen and mobilise parts I cannot reach. It certainly does help my shoulders move better.
Went to Slimming World last night. Lost half a lb which is ‘mentally’ better than a gain.
Whoo hooooo 12 and 1/2 lbs gone.
My beautiful daughter R has been in hospital, she is home now. We are pushing with the help of our GP, to get her the help she needs.

Me, J and R about 7 yrs ago. J love them both so so.much.

Totally need to be on my eating plan 100% this week as I only have 1 and 1/2  lbs to lose to get my stone award (14 lbs).
I am off work this week which has worked out well, plus the weather has been nice. Popped round to my neighbours for coffee a few times (Lorna).
Not been testing my blood sugar as much (normal for me is 5-6 Times a day.). Only been testing 2-3 Times a day.

It’s 10pm, still light out. No plans as such for tomorrow. Was hoping to get R to the zoo with J and me but I don’t think she’ll go. Neil’s back is still really bad. Neil, I promise I’ll read/edit your book! I could get used to NOT being in work!!!!

Feeling blah Tuesday

Felt blah a lot today. Grey cloud blah.
Got weighed last night at Slimming World
I STAYED THE SAME AGAIN.
Good in one way (no gain).

Eating healthily, well ok, apart from a few mints. A few few.
Several. I have just asked Neil to hide them from me!
Had better go for a walk later, or on the dusty treadmill/clothes hanger.

Had v healthy tea of stir fry turkey with lots of veg.

Another good loss

Went to my Slimming World class tonight. OMG stepped on the scales and had lost 3.5 lbs. Making 11 lbs gone altogether. Could you hear me scream for joy?!!!!!

We had a taster session in class tonight and people brought in 0 syn and low syn nibbles, very nice.
My blood sugar was very high tonight, all I can think it a mixture of not testing since breakfast (I may have needed some insulin), I didn’t have any during the day cos I didn’t eat any carbs. I don’t think I did?
Blood sugar is currently down to 22.4, I’ll be happier when it’s below 10.
Need to eat more balanced meals this week, with some carbs. Starting with breakfast in morning since I rarely eat breakfast these days. Tomorrow it’s 2 weetabix and skim milk.

Whoo hoo I Lost

Yes, I lost. I stepped on the scales at Slimming World tonight and I have lost another 3 lbs making 7 lbs altogether in 3 weeks. I won slimmer of the week, winning a basket of fruit.

! Did come home and ermmmm……… Well today’s syns are 45. Gulp. Meant to be like up to 15 a day. So it means I have to be super good the rest of the week.
What did I eat?
4 peanut hi fi bars
10 Ritz crackers, those little ones, pesky things.
Some crusty bread n butter this morning.
On the other hand I did have a super healthy turkey stew for evening meal tonight. Got some healthy food in from Sainsburys. The only other thing I have to watch this week is inactivity as when I’m in work I do quite a bit of walking too and fro. So being off till next Tuesday, not good if I sit on my butt all week.
I so want to get under 11 stone, being only 4 ft 11 in height means really I need to be under 9 stone. Wouldn’t mind being a few inches taller!!!!!

This is the only time in my life I’ve been taller than my 3 sister’s! (Me on the far right)

A wedding do

I went to a lovely friends wedding do last night. She looked beautiful. They make a gorgeous couple.
I danced the night away! Did have some if the yummy buffet. Also went for lunch in the afternoon to another good friends birthday lunch.
Scared the crap out if myself this morning when I stepped on the scales and have gained weight?
Some photos from last night