Had simply awful earache in left ear, not had earache for years. Even the tramadol and paracetamol didn’t take the pain away. Spent most of yesterday (Friday)  in bed, in pain and feeling dizzy.
Feel dizzy today too but the pain is less.
Have managed to carry on avoiding sugary stuff, also have not had any appetite. Haven’t even got the energy to get off the couch. Neil did buy me some sweet coconut and vanilla popcorn earlier which I did eat. Yes, it’s sugary. I have said ‘don’t buy me any treats’. The popcorn is nice, not too sweet and only 109 calories per bag, but still to be avoided. Luckily it didn’t set me off ‘craving’. I haven’t felt like cooking last few days so have just eaten toast.
I have been looking at the NHS Livewell Programme online. It offers a massive range of support and classes for weight, health, relaxation, wellbeing, and so on. And mostly it’s all free. I’m going to book myself into a health assessment session and then see what they have to offer on my days off from work. jonathans is booked into the Livewell Programme via our GP but you can self refer. I’ve got 6 sessions of counselling left too.
My blood sugars are higher at the moment, I suspect because of not being well since am injecting properly.
If I could just get a good balance of eating well, exercising and relaxing I’m sure I’d start to feel so much better. There’s always going to be stress and anxiety through lack of money, Rhi, Jon and Neil’s health, but I so need to start to feel better. Rhi is getting more help and support, Jonathans is seeking help and support, Neil, well is just about holding together physically and mentally, we have been under a massive amount of stress and anxiety for the last several years. A lottery win, a new house down south and several holidays would make me better!!!!!!!!


Our last holiday was 2011. Having a holiday means a lot to me, less so to Neil jonathans and Rhi. It’s a pity holidays cost so much in this country (average of £500+ per week) for a nice little cottage. Then we’d have to pay around £170 + per week for a cattery and then there’s spending money. We have no savings, we live below the poverty line, I’m not ashamed to admit that, it’s the way things are. It’s the way things are for many people in this country and those people who ‘have’ money just don’t get it, they don’t get it at all. Well, self pity, moan over.
Time to do a bit of reading to try relax. I love Neil, Jonathans and Rhi so so much and Pika and Ash of course.


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